Title: Whores and Housewives
Fandom: Wild Wild West
Pairing: Jim/Artie/female
Feedback: justblackchaps at yahoo dot com
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Bigmackie
Summary: Jim and Artemus have an encounter with an unusual whore.
Disclaimer: All this belongs to CBS.
Note: This is part of a series.


Jim spun the woman in his arms and laughed with her. Artemus hunched his shoulders slightly and took another drink. There was only one whore, and of course, she'd fuck Jim. Artemus never had a chance. He sighed and swirled his whiskey. Oh well--some other day.


"Yeah, what?" Artemus growled at his partner. He didn't want to, but his cock was pissed.

"Why don't you join us?" Jim asked softly.

Artemus glanced at the whore. She shrugged. Clearly, she didn't care one way or the other. It was an insult. He wasn't that bad looking! "Forget it. My horse is better looking."

Jim jerked back in shock. Artemus was also surprised at the crude words. His cock must really be angry. She raised her hand to slap him. Artemus didn't bother to duck. He'd earned it, but Jim caught her arm. "No."

She glared at both of them. "Go to hell--both of you!"

Artemus smiled. "Thank you."

Jim groaned. "Let's go home."

The whore flounced off. Artemus finished his drink. "Sorry. I fucked that up."

"You certainly did!" Jim put his hands on his hips.

The bartender stepped close. "You two gents beat it. No one insults Suzie."

Artemus pushed away from the brass rail. "Guess I'm nobody."

"Nobody I want to know."


"Come on, Artie. Let's go out."

Artemus shook his head. "Hell no. This is a one-whore town for sure! You always get the whore! I'm sick of it."

Jim paced to the door and back. "I'm horny. You've got to be horny. Let's go out!"

Artemus picked up a book and sat down, sipping his brandy. "I'd rather handle myself than be humiliated again."

Jim sank down in the chair in front of the desk. "You take whores too seriously. You have lots of dates with good looking women."

"Yes, I know. They want husbands and won't go anywhere near a bed." Artemus waved his hand. "Go on."

"I'd rather have company," Jim said softly.

Artemus snapped his book shut. "Someone to strut in front of? Someone to keep count?"

Jim flinched. "No. We usually have a good time together."

"In larger towns where there is a real whorehouse, I'll go. No more little towns for a while; I'm sick of it." Artemus refused to apologize. His partner shined like a star in these small saloons, preening and strutting. "I've had enough for one year."

Jim rubbed a hand through his hair. "Fine." He pulled open the desk drawer and removed a file.

Artemus found his page and began reading. He didn't understand why Jim didn't just go. Staring at the same page for a while didn't improve his mood. Artemus tossed the book aside and drained his brandy. "Fine. Let's go."

Jim shut the file fast and tucked it away. "Thanks, Artie."

Artemus put on his coat and said not a word. They walked into town from the train station. Jim glanced at Artemus once or twice. Artemus ignored it. He pushed open the swinging doors and headed straight for the bar, ordering a whiskey. Jim was right at Artemus' side. They turned as one and put their backs to the bar.

"This town might as well give up."

"Town is a bit generous," Jim said. He shrugged. "I was sick of the train."

Artemus nodded. He felt it too from time to time. "Why don't I head back and give you some time?"

Jim tossed his whiskey back and swallowed it all. "I'd rather you stay."

Artemus didn't quite know what to make of this, but he shrugged. He'd stay. It wouldn't kill him. He saw her first and watched her eyes alight on Jim. She smiled and didn't flirt. Boldly, she ordered a whiskey, stood next to Jim and tossed it down. Jim smiled at her. Artemus looked around for a card game. There was never a game when he needed one. She looked Jim up and down and slapped him on the ass. Artemus burst out laughing.

"You'll do. Come on upstairs." She grinned.

Jim stared at her. Artemus wondered if Jim could speak. "You're a bold one."

"Why waste time?" She tossed her head and gave Artemus a look. "You two together?"

Artemus shrugged. "Some days yes, some no."

She laughed and came around to stand in front of him. "You have a nice voice, and you're cute."

Artemus blushed. She was a brassy woman. He liked them that way. "And you are?"

"A business woman." She grinned unrepentantly. "Only two days a week. Extra money. Farming is hard work!"

"Your husband doesn't mind?" Jim choked out.

"He's behind the bar," she said and laughed. "Charlie, the fellow who owns this place, has his own farm."

Artemus laughed. "Go on, Jim. I'll wait."

Jim looked at him. "Her husband is right there." It was a strangled whisper.

She took a step towards Artemus. "Forget him. He's a prude. Let's go up."

Artemus took Jim's shoulder and shook him. "Snap out of it, Jim. She's getting away."

Jim bit his lip. He couldn't decide. She grabbed Artemus' hand and started pulling. Artemus dug his fingers around Jim's jacket and didn't turn loose. She took them both upstairs. Jim looked back twice. "He's not getting a gun."

"My name's Glenda. You two are my lucky day." Glenda smiled and shut the door behind Jim. "Price list is on the wall. No kissing--that's my only rule."

Artemus couldn't help but admire her moxie. She was bold in a world where women weren't, not often. He read the list, but kept an eye on Jim. Jim glanced at the list.

"Artemus, you go ahead. I'll watch."

"This isn't like you, James. Come on. She's nice." Artemus intended to empty his wallet tonight.

"She's married." Jim snapped out the words. "It isn't right."

She sighed and pointed to a chair. "Sit, James."

Artemus watched in amazement as Jim did just that. He turned away so Jim couldn't see the huge grin on his face. Glenda turned her attention to Artemus. "You going for the naked prices?"

"Yes!" Artemus nodded enthusiastically. He immediately went to work on buttons. She dimmed the lamp and pulled the curtains shut. That done, she moved to him and helped. Artemus wrapped her in a hug once and kissed her. He couldn't help himself.

"No kissing! Remember?"

"Why not?" Artemus smiled. "You like it."

"Well, yes." Glenda poked him on his bare stomach. "You're nothing but a dollar."

Artemus let his brown eyes bore into her blue ones. "We'll see."

Glenda let out a breathy moan. "You think I enjoy my job?"

"I think you love it. It was probably your idea." Artemus shucked his trousers. "Jim, you just gonna sit there?"

Jim nodded. He said nothing, but his eyes were sharp, and his trousers tented up just slightly.


"Later," Artemus said. He flashed his cash. "We'll see how much you earn."

Glenda laughed. "I like you." Her dress was gone in one swift move. Artemus caught his breath. She was muscled, strong, and lean. "I'm not pretty, but I do love my work."

Artemus took her by the arm. "You are beautiful, not like most women, but you wouldn't want that anyway." He kissed her again, pressing her back on the bed. She grabbed him and flipped them. It was a shock. "Wait a minute."

"Hey, you're in my bed." She wasted no time in burying Artemus' cock inside her body. "James, you ready?"

"No, thanks."

Artemus looked at him and felt guilty. His cock didn't though. He bucked up and watched her ride him. She was beautiful. He fondled her small breasts before moving to her ass. "I think I want it all tonight."

She pressed down and leaned back, managing to keep him inside. It was different. Artemus couldn't remember doing it that way before. It felt incredible. They moved together. Jim groaned. Artemus heard it clearly. Some persuasion would be called for, but Jim wasn't missing this.

"Glenda, go lean over my partner."

Glenda nodded and disengaged. She went to Jim and put her hands on his knees. Artemus was there behind her and shoving inside. She was tall. The fit was perfect.

Jim looked up at Artemus. "Why?"

"She's not a whore. She's a bored housewife." Artemus nibbled the curve of her neck. "I don't think you should miss this."

Jim frowned. Glenda undid Jim's buttons while he was thinking. He gasped when she put her mouth on him. "She's good."

"Oh, yeah." Artemus found the rhythm she liked and worked her hard. Glenda moaned around Jim's cock. Jim slowly began to undress. He finished about the time Artemus orgasmed. Artemus shook, quivered, and held it deep. This woman was good. She'd get a bonus tonight. Jim leaned her up and kissed her. She groaned, and they took her back to bed.

"What now, partners?"

Jim spread her legs and lapped gently. Artemus enjoyed watching it. She stared at Jim for a moment. "He know what's in there?"

Artemus pulled her nipples up to standing. "He likes it."

"No charge for that." Glenda began to move her hips. "In fact, I may pay him."

"That's what they all say." Artemus lay close to her, letting his hands and mouth play while Jim made her scream. She did too, loudly. People downstairs probably heard her. Jim didn't quit until she begged him to fuck her. He went hard and deep. Artemus admired the technique, but he didn't have the energy to join in, not yet. He stroked her, and his hand idly touched Jim's strong body.

Glenda kissed him. "Go shove a finger up his ass."

Artemus laughed. "Tired? Already?"

She shook her head. "I just want to see it."

Artemus moved into position. Jim looked over his shoulder. "Don't."

"I hate obeying orders in bed," Artemus said and pressed his finger deep in Jim's ass. Jim jerked, hissed, and came. He groaned and thrashed. Glenda laughed and slapped Jim's ass again.

"Let's tie him up," Glenda said.

Artemus chuckled. He'd considered it a time or two. "He hates it."

Jim lay quietly for a moment and then surged up. "Get your hand out of my ass, and you need a firmer hand from your husband!"

"Spankings are three dollars," Glenda said. "Paddle is extra."

"I can read the fucking sign!"

Artemus controlled gales of laughter. Jim had met his match. And didn't like it. "James, I'll spank her. You take a few deep breaths."

Glenda wiggled her ass. Artemus flipped her over and gave her three hearty swats. She laughed. Jim caught Artemus' hand. "You can't hit her hard enough."

"This is for me," Artemus said. He delivered seven more. Her ass was red. He kissed and licked it. "Jim, what's your pleasure?"

"Watching that." Jim kissed her. "You're something."

"Thanks, James." She grinned. "You fellows fuck each other?"

Artemus flinched. Jim yanked away from her. "I've about had enough of her mouth."

"Glenda, that's really none of your business." Artemus spoke kindly.

"I just like it. One guy in me, the other behind. It's fun." Glenda shrugged. "I had no idea that you two were so strict in bed."

Jim rubbed his face and sat down. Artemus did the same. Glenda left the bed and opened a drawer, removing a small hand towel and cleaning up. Artemus reached and touched Jim gently on the shoulder. "It's okay."

Jim looked at him. "We haven't."

"I know. Forget it." Artemus flicked his eyes to her. "Let's fuck her together."

Glenda was suddenly between them. "You two are fools if you find pleasure only in women." She kissed Artemus and then a reluctant Jim. "Done?"

Artemus pulled her into his lap and impaled her on his hard dick. She threw her head back and squealed. Jim reached and touched her breasts. The three of them were very close. Artemus pulled Jim even closer. Glenda groaned and moved. They kissed. Jim was there. Artemus kissed him, sliding his tongue deep. Jim tasted good. It lasted until suddenly, he pulled away. Artemus ducked his head to avoid Jim's eyes and sucked her neck, thrusting repeatedly. He came, and Jim took her to do the same. She gasped, and he forced her up and down.

"Ride 'em, cowboy," she whispered.

Artemus stayed close until Jim came, only then moving to clean up. He redressed quickly, emptying his wallet. Jim was still with her. He might go again, but Artemus was finished, heading downstairs for a stiff drink. He flushed a little when the bartender served him. This was her husband--the lucky bastard.

"Have fun?"

Artemus slammed it and nodded. "You're a very lucky man."

"She wears me out. If it weren't for this, I'd have left her." The bartender grinned. "I enjoy having the time off!"

Artemus laughed and ordered a refill. He would wait for Jim.

Jim emerged after two more drinks. He looked dumbstruck, but that wasn't possible. Artemus picked up his hat. "Ready?"

"Yes." Jim didn't get a whiskey. He strode from the saloon without a look back. Artemus trailed him and wondered what was going on. Didn't Jim have fun?

Jim yanked open the door to the parlor car. He dropped his hat on the desk, whirled, and said, "Don't touch my ass again."

"There was no charge for it," Artemus said. He tossed his hat and took off his coat. "But I won't, not again."

Jim refused to look at him. "Thank you."

Artemus poured two brandies. He'd change the subject and make light of it. "Here's to housewives."

"Bored ones."


The End

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