Moments

Kirk/Spock, Kirk/McCoy, & Spock/McCoy by K'Chaps
justblackchaps @ yahoo.com
rated NC-17

Note: Written for Lyrastar

McCoy let his shoulders slump, and he sat down heavily. He hadn't done enough or he'd done too much too fast. Whichever, the results were the same. This young lady was dead. The autopsy would tell him the truth, and it would stay with him.

"Bones, you did all you could."

"Did I?" McCoy wasn't sure, but then again, when this happened, he never was. Life was remarkably tough and incredibly fragile.

"It is illogical to blame yourself." Spock was as composed as ever.

"Logic has little to do with medicine," McCoy said and nearly laughed at himself. This hadn't been medicine. It had been five adrenaline packed minutes of criticare, and he'd failed. "You two go on. I have work to do."

Kirk and Spock looked at him steadily. With a simultaneous nod, they turned together and left sickbay. McCoy took a deep breath and glanced over at Nurse Chapel. "Prepare her for an autopsy. I'll start the paperwork."

"Yes, Doctor." Nurse Chapel didn't burden him with her feelings, and it was a relief. They'd speak later, when the emotions of the moment had died down to a dull roar. It wasn't lost on McCoy that the young lady who'd just lost her life was a friend of his nurse. McCoy gathered his disks and went to his office. He reviewed everything he'd done, but came up with nothing new. He'd done what he'd thought was correct. It hadn't been enough.

McCoy started the report and locked away the part of himself that wanted to collapse. He'd never get used to it, no matter how many years he did this, and if he were honest, he didn't want to become accustomed. He didn't think much of the doctors that did.

"She's ready, Doctor."

"Thank you, Nurse." McCoy abandoned the report. "I can handle this. You take a minute."

Nurse Chapel looked at him steadily. "These things are all I can do for her now."

McCoy understood, and he went with her to the small room off the main sickbay where they conducted autopsies.

********

"Should we invite Bones over this evening?"

Spock raised his eyebrow. "Sex is not the answer to every emotional problem."

"I'm aware of that, mister!" Kirk snapped. "I just meant that he could use a friendly ear."

"Anything I say will be less than appreciated. My ears are not friendly." Spock turned away and put his hands behind his back.

Kirk shrugged. "I'll bump into him at the end of the shift. And I like your ears." He reached and touched Spock's hands.

********* *********

Kirk stared blindly at the viewscreen. He knew his command abilities were impaired, but staying in his cabin was impossible. He'd get through this. Spock, his eyes fully healed, watched, and picked up the slack. Kirk idly traced his finger along the arm of his chair. Sending the message to his mother had been the worst thirty minutes of his life. In some ways, harder than when his dad had died, because at some level, he was responsible. If he were a crewman, he'd have been relieved of his duties, and at some point, he fully expected McCoy to attempt just that.

********

McCoy sat down across from Spock, thumped his tray down, and ignored the food that took flight. Spock raised his eyebrow, but said nothing. McCoy stared at Spock instead of eating. "Well?"

"How am I to ascertain the direction this conversation will take?"

"Use that pointy head of yours," McCoy growled. "How long before you relieve him?"

"He is operating within Federation standards."

"Low ones. I imagine he expects it. He knows better."

"I agree, and that is why I've made no attempt." Spock ate calmly. "Currently, he is spending time with his nephew."

McCoy nodded. That's why they were having this conversation right now. "Maybe we should both talk to him."

Spock gave the equivalent of a human shrug. He continued to eat. McCoy went ahead and picked up his fork. It didn't do any good to starve. Spock finally said, "Please give him a physical."

"Why?"

"He isn't eating or sleeping enough to sustain a captain." Spock wiped his mouth, picked up his tray, and stood. "And you are welcome to join me this evening when I see him for our game of chess."

McCoy chewed on that as Spock walked away. Chess? That's not all they did. He wondered what he'd just been invited to.

********

Kirk reported for his physical with his usual enthusiasm--none. "Bones, I don't appreciate this."

"It's this, or I'm going to ask Spock to relieve you." McCoy patted the bio bed. "Take the easy road."

Kirk wanted to take the hard one just for spite, but he'd end up back here when Spock relieved him. He slipped up on the bio bed. "This isn't necessary. You and I both know I'm depressed. Who wouldn't be?"

"Maybe Spock, but yes. You're showing classic signs of depression. It's not good for this ship or that boy." McCoy took Kirk by the arm. "Let me put you on a little something until the worst of this passes."

"I'm going to work through this. He was my brother!" Kirk had every intention of striding away, but he didn't do it. He lay back and tried to breathe normally. The physical took its usual length of time, and he was exasperated by the end of it.

"You've lost weight, and your sleep patterns are a disaster. I'm not even sure you're awake now." McCoy tossed Kirk his shirt. "I'm going to give you something to make you sleep, and you're going to take it."

Kirk set his jaw. "What if I'm needed on the bridge?"

"It's not that kind of drug. It'll help restore your body's natural rhythms, not knock you out." McCoy went back to his office, and Kirk reluctantly followed along. Kirk put on his shirt and sat down to wait. McCoy brought the pills to him and sat right next to him. "Spock is worried. If Spock is worried, the ship should be on red alert."

"Spock? Really?" Kirk began to think he wasn't taking this seriously enough. He hefted the pills. He'd take them. It was a start. "We're supposed to play chess tonight, but I'm going to cancel."

McCoy gave him a look that was hard to interpret. "A little sex couldn't hurt, Jim."

"Did he invite you over?" Kirk was suddenly sure of it.

"Yes." McCoy looked him in the eye.

Kirk swallowed hard and shook his head. "Sex isn't the answer to this problem." He stood and left McCoy in his office. Kirk strode down the hallway to his quarters to stow the pills. He'd get over this. It would take some time, but he'd get there.

******** ********

Spock took the small data chip from his captain. "Thank you. I'm sure you're aware that there are ensigns available to deliver the mail."

"Spock, I know what's on it. Let me know your decision." Kirk squeezed Spock's shoulder and exited the turbolift at the proper deck. Spock looked at the chip and didn't speculate. When the turbolift stopped for him, he went to his quarters and directly to his computer. He watched the message from his father twice before leaning back in his chair and lacing his hands together. The captain had seen this and was waiting for an answer. Logically, he should stay aboard the Enterprise, but custom and family was a thing apart from logic. Sarek would disagree, but Spock had found it to be true nonetheless.

Spock shut his eyes and remembered. The memories were crisp and clear--each one kept safe. He toggled his comm. system. "Spock to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"I am formally requesting leave in order to return home."

"Granted. We're two days away by shuttle." The captain lowered his voice. "I'll meet you in Shuttle Bay Two."

"Affirmative." Spock clicked it off and went to pack the necessary items. He would push the limits of the shuttle and get there sooner. His uncle needed him now.

********

Kirk pushed a white knight across the board towards the empty chair.

"Need a partner?"

Kirk looked up and smiled at McCoy. "Volunteering?"

"Uh, no." McCoy sat down and picked up the queen. "I could find someone though."

"No, thanks." Kirk put the pieces back where they belonged. "How's sickbay?"

"Quiet, and that's good."

Kirk knew there were things he should be doing. "Is Spock okay?"

"You're asking me? That in itself is your answer." McCoy smiled. "Why don't you take the game to him tonight?"

"I'd like to." Kirk would love to, but he wasn't sure he was welcome. Spock had been . . . distant since returning from Vulcan. "You could come along."

McCoy narrowed his eyes. "For chess?"

"And whatever else." Kirk didn't think it would happen, but it might, and he needed it.

"Jim," McCoy lowered his voice, "Spock needs your support. If he's avoiding your chess game, there's a reason. Instead of confusing him by dragging me along, go let him know you don't need that, and you care about him."

Kirk grimaced. He hated it when McCoy was right. "He's a Vulcan."

"And his favorite uncle is dead."

"Spock's keichar--which is much more than a favorite uncle." Kirk nodded and stood up. "He'll probably throw me out, but I'm going."

"That's the spirit. I'll patch you up if you hit the bulkhead too hard." McCoy stood and patted him on the shoulder. Kirk groaned and went to the turbolift.

********

Spock ate a small meal in his quarters. It was his fifth today, but he required it. Carrying the katra of his uncle had exhausted him physically. His mind was also in a state of chaos. It was the price of the katra--a great honor and a great sacrifice.

"Spock?"

"Come." Spock left his food and went to the door. "Can I help you, Captain?"

Kirk stepped inside. "If you don't mind, I'd like to sit with you awhile."

Spock wasn't sure he understood. English was his second language. "Sit?"

"Well, you don't seem to want to talk, or play chess, or . . . much of anything, so I thought maybe I could just be with you." Kirk put his hands on his hips.

"Fascinating." Spock gestured at the small table. "I'm eating. Would you like something?"

"Didn't I see you eat twice today already?" Kirk sat down with him. "And yes, some coffee would be nice."

Spock ordered the coffee and delivered it, careful not to touch him. "Currently, I am requiring more nutrition than normal."

"Don't tell McCoy. He'll drag you in for a physical." Kirk groaned in mock pain.

"I will not, but my captain might." Spock quickly finished his food. His body had needed it. "I fasted while on Vulcan."

"How many days?"

Spock took a sip of tea. "Four."

"Four days without food? He'll kill you!" Kirk put his hand on his face. "I won't tell him. I like having you for a first officer."

"Thank you." Spock felt the sexual hum from his captain, but it was impossible. His shields were in disarray, and his mind wasn't capable of blocking out the overwhelming emotions. "Perhaps we could discuss ship's business?"

Kirk smiled. "Sure."

Spock felt the concern clearly and part of his mind latched onto it. "Thank you."

******** ********

McCoy took the padd from the ensign and thanked him absentmindedly. It was from the captain, and it could wait a minute. He began the delicate calibration necessary to align the cells properly. Rushing would force him to start over, and he'd rather not.

"Report for you, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy took it, put it on top of the other one, and muttered, "Thanks." He didn't lift his eyes away until he was certain the job was done correctly. Straightening up, he activated the experiment and glanced at the newest report. It was from Spock. It was raining officers around here, and they could both wait three minutes. The machine flashed green, and McCoy looked through the scope. It should work. He made copious notes and took several still images. Finally, he was on the right track.

"Captain Kirk to Dr. McCoy."

McCoy clicked it on. "McCoy here."

"Have you read the report I sent you?"

"I'm working on a delicate experiment. I'll get right to it." McCoy made sure he didn't sound grouchy.

"See that you do. Kirk out."

McCoy rubbed the small of his back. He wasn't grouchy, but his captain was. Picking up the report, he noticed it was locked to his thumbprint, and he pushed.

Report to my quarters this evening at the end of your shift. Please. Jim

The image automatically deleted after thirty seconds. McCoy sat down. What the hell was going on? A command with a please on the end? He shook his head and picked up the other report. He'd look at it before he ran the experiment again. It also required his thumbprint.

Please report to the captain's quarters at the end of your shift. Spock

McCoy watched the words fade away. The report sagged in his hand.

"Is everything okay, Doctor?"

"Certainly, Nurse." McCoy put the padd down and tried to remember what he was doing. Oh yes, the experiment--and he'd done enough. His shift had been over for fifteen minutes. "Please clean up for me. The captain has got some fool ass thing he wants to talk about."

"Doctor!"

"Sorry." McCoy flashed his grin at her. "I'm certain it's important ship's business."

Nurse Chapel smiled at him, and he laughed as he went out the door. He knew his lips were slightly dry, his heart beat too fast, and he stopped in front of the captain's door to wait a second longer than necessary.

Kirk opened the door. "Come on in, Bones."

McCoy went. Spock was setting up the chess game, but he paused. "If two of my commanding officers had requested my presence, punctuality would have been foremost in my mind."

"Both of you said, 'please,' negating the command." McCoy took the Saurian Brandy that Kirk handed him. "Thank you and I'll need it if I have to watch you two play chess all night."

Kirk laughed and sat down to move his pawn up one level. Spock immediately countered. McCoy watched and relaxed, sipping his brandy. There was a normality about all this that was comforting.

"Your game is unusually aggressive."

"Maybe you're flustered." Kirk grinned boyishly. McCoy laughed at the effect on Spock--none.

Spock leaned back and crossed his arms. "Pride goes before a fall."

McCoy laughed. "No man is an island."

"Life is short--live hard." Kirk moved his queen up two levels and took Spock's bishop. "Check."

Spock didn't lean forward or make any movement at all. McCoy wondered if that was astonishment. Did Kirk know? McCoy always sensed that these two connected on some level, maybe level three. He laughed softly. Spock looked at him. "You find my loss amusing?"

"No. I was drawing an analogy between what I see before me and the game of three-dimensional chess." McCoy wished his smile would go away.

Spock leaned forward, and his hand hovered over the second level. He moved in a blink, and Kirk countered instantly. McCoy watched Spock, not Kirk. Spock's back grew straighter, his shoulders squared, and he moved a pawn. "Check."

McCoy knew that Kirk won on occasion, when he was at the top of his game. Spock's eyes went up and down the boards until suddenly; he reached and toppled his king. McCoy's eyes widened. Kirk nodded. "I had you in five."

"Four." Spock stood. "Since you have won the game, I believe the next move is yours."

"That was the agreement."

"Excuse me, fellas, but what are you talking about?" McCoy finished his brandy. It would be his only one. Kirk would have two, and Spock would have tea.

Kirk turned his grin on McCoy. "We're all adults. I'd like you to join us."

McCoy had known it was coming, but the wager made him reluctant. "Spock, if you'd have won, what were you going to say?"

"Unknown." Spock got himself some tea.

"I bet." McCoy had changed his mind twice since he got here, and he was heading for three. He wanted it, but he wanted nothing to change. "Spock, what do you want?"

"I am agreeable to the situation."

McCoy laughed. Hell, that was practically a declaration of love. He looked at Kirk. "I'm not sure."

Kirk leaned over him and whispered, "I think you are." He was close enough to brush his lips across McCoy's mouth. McCoy knew the choice was his, and he decided to see what he was getting into. He lifted his face, and his captain swept him away.

********

Spock analyzed the kiss. McCoy had made his decision, and Kirk would take command of the situation. Kirk eased McCoy up and kissed him more deeply. Spock had meditated on this earlier, and he knew exactly where his limits were. He stepped behind Kirk and put a hand on his shoulder. Kirk wrapped an arm back and pulled him close. Spock kissed the back of Kirk's neck.

McCoy broke away. "That bunk isn't big enough for the three of us."

"I have a plan. A good captain always does." Kirk was smug, and Spock refused to list off the missions that contradicted that statement. Kirk maneuvered McCoy towards the bunk and managed to get both sets of clothes off. Spock admired Kirk's efficiency in that area. Spock pulled off his shirts and boots, but stayed back a small distance.

********

Kirk had faith that Spock would only do what he was comfortable with, and that he'd thought it out well in advance. McCoy reached for him again, and Kirk smiled. This was the right time. Kirk ran his hands down McCoy's rangy form and cupped an understated ass. McCoy gasped softly. "Are you sure about this?"

For an answer, Kirk put McCoy on his back. The bunk was big enough for that. McCoy arched up and pulled him down tight. It was Kirk's turn to gasp, and he wanted to thrust wildly, but managed to control himself by the thinnest of margins.

Spock put a hand on Kirk's back. "Ask him."

Kirk took a deep breath. His passion left almost no room for conversation of any kind. He kissed McCoy, teased his tongue inside, and thrust deeply. Spock's hand never left him and it sent him higher. "Leonard, can I make love to you?"

McCoy laughed and spread his legs enough to bring their cocks into full contact. "I did think that's why we were here."

"Thank you." Kirk moved his hips, bumping and grinding them together. It felt deliriously good. Spock slid his hand down Kirk's back. Kirk groaned when the hand touched him more intimately.

"You have some lubricant?" McCoy's eyes were over Kirk's shoulder.

Kirk heard the pant and gasp in those few words. He pulled back enough regain some sanity. There was lubricant here, somewhere. Spock grasped him firmly by the cock, and Kirk felt the slickness. It was unexpected, but so very welcome. Spock traced the lubricant back and he probed gently at Kirk's ass. McCoy gripped Kirk by the arms. Kirk felt overwhelmed by all the hands, skin, and soft sounds. It washed over him, and he pushed McCoy's legs back further. He paused and stared deeply into vibrant, blue eyes. McCoy pulled, and Kirk threw back his head at the tightness.

"Gently." Spock kissed Kirk's shoulder and pushed with his fingers. Kirk watched McCoy's face until he was sure it was okay to continue. Spock reached and took a good hold on McCoy's cock. "He's ready."

Kirk shuddered. He felt so full, and it was all about ready to come bursting out.

********

Spock watched Kirk shudder. His orgasm was imminent. McCoy gasped and moved his hips. Spock extended his senses, and Kirk began to thrust. Their passion spiraled up, and Spock captured it to channel it back to them. When it hit them, both men exclaimed to a deity. He kept his position as a bridge and shut his eyes.

********

McCoy trembled, thrust, groaned, and prayed that his heart could take the stress of such pleasure. He usually shut his eyes during sex, but he couldn't take them off the sight of Kirk, sweating slightly, and Spock, stroking. Somehow, they were all linked together, and it pushed him into a frenzy.

********

Kirk wished Spock would thrust harder with his hand and grunted happily when it happened. He could feel McCoy's lust, and he pounded harder, hoping to last one more minute, thirty more seconds, ten more . . . "Damn!" His orgasm rushed out of him and then somehow back again. He arched and leaned down further to push his tongue inside McCoy's sweet mouth.

McCoy sucked it greedily before breaking away and gasping, "A hell of a game of chess!"

"It's all in the placement of the pieces," Kirk said and managed to keep most of his weight off the doctor. He groaned softly when Spock took his hand away. Spock was gone for a moment and then back with a warm, wet towel. Kirk took command of it and cleaned off McCoy's chest and other parts. "Thank you."

Spock rested his hand briefly on McCoy's shoulder before easing away to sit again in front of the chessboard. Kirk sat down and groaned again. McCoy echoed it. "That was--incredible."

"Yes." Kirk smiled and pulled McCoy up straight. "Kiss?"

McCoy leaned, and they kissed gently. "Thanks for asking me over."

Kirk laughed softly. "Glad you finally showed up. Maybe this will give you incentive to read the reports I send you."

"I doubt it." McCoy got up and began to dress. "I need another brandy."

"I'll get it for you." Kirk slipped on his pants and went to the cabinet. "I think Spock wants a rematch."

"He knows your brains are mush now." McCoy laughed and sat down in a chair.

Kirk handed him a brandy and took his to the table. He wasn't sure he remembered his name, much less how to play, but he sat down to give Spock his due. Spock raised his eyebrow and said, "Are you able?"

"For king and country." Kirk smiled. "I get white."

"Acceptable." Spock crossed his arms.

********

McCoy watched them play two more games before he knew he had to get moving towards his bed or sleep here on the floor. "I'm heading to my quarters."

Kirk and Spock glanced at him. One smiled and the other looked slightly pleased--but that could have been because he was winning.

"'Night, Bones."

"Good night, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy smiled and went out the door. He'd sleep well tonight.

********

"The doctor was pleased." Spock moved his bishop for the win.

"We had a nice time." Kirk pushed over his king. "To the winner goes the spoils."

"I have never understood that. Why would I desire something that is spoiled?" Spock reset the chess pieces, but the game was finished for now.

Kirk stood, stretched, and held out his hand. "Take me anyway."

"I am agreeable to that." Spock took the hand, and they went back to the bunk. "Did you desire more earlier?"

"How can you even say that? Any more and I'd have probably had a coronary." Kirk removed his pants again and reached for Spock's. "May I?"

"Yes." Spock waited patiently. "I didn't wish to offend."

"You didn't. You were brilliant." Kirk flashed him a grin. "Can you turn this on now?"

Spock looked down and acquiesced. "Is that large enough?"

Kirk sat on the bunk. "I never know if you're joking."

"Vulcans don't joke." Spock increased the size. "Do you want this?"

"I always have energy for you." Kirk took a good hold and lowered his head slightly. He knew how to please with his mouth. Spock rested his hands gently on Kirk's shoulders. Pulling and thrusting would be wrong and unnecessary. Kirk would do all he could to make this experience pleasant indeed. Spock shut his eyes, placed his right hand on Kirk's face, and wound them together tightly. Their love would be shared. Kirk groaned deep in his throat, and Spock threw his head back from the joy racing through them.

Spock used his hands and mind to get his lover on the bed. Kirk lay flat, and Spock covered Kirk's head, thrusting deep into his mouth. Kirk took it all and gave back more. It was his way. Kirk's hands came up and gripped Spock's ass firmly, spreading. Spock gasped as his ass was kneaded. An image of bread flashed through Kirk's mind, and Spock appreciated the reference. It was enough to send Spock's body into a spasm of pleasure, and he poured his gift down his lover's throat. Kirk was greedy, swallowing every drop and licking for more.

"Thank you," Spock said softly.

Kirk managed to wiggle out from under Spock. "My pleasure." It echoed between them, and Spock felt Kirk's growl of lust. "I want more."

"That is apparent." Spock grasped Kirk's cock firmly. "You're the senior officer here."

"I know." Kirk smiled. "I can't decide what I want more."

Spock slipped his hand back and forth. He would wait.

********

Kirk groaned. Who could think with that going on? He wrapped his hand around Spock's neck and pulled him close to kiss him. Spock didn't prefer it, but he allowed it. Spock's mouth and ass were heaven, and it was hard to choose just one. Kirk prolonged the kiss. He only wanted one.

"Perhaps you would prefer to kiss Dr. McCoy?"

"I love your mouth." Kirk grunted. Spock's hand went faster. Kirk smiled. "He likes it more though."

Spock nodded. "I will discuss it with him."

Kirk had no doubt about that. "Not on the bridge." He twisted Spock's nipples because he could and enjoyed Spock's immediate retaliation. "Faster."

Spock obeyed, and his other hand wiggled towards what Kirk liked to think of as complete bliss. Kirk threw his head back and gasped out Spock's name as those beautiful, elegant, green hands brought him to orgasm. Spock did something he'd never done, and he pushed his tongue deep in Kirk's mouth at the moment he erupted. The fierce passion had to die away, and Kirk was sorry to see it go. He wished they could do this all night.

"You would require a stimulant." Spock withdrew his hand. "Shower?"

"Yes." Kirk managed to say one word. He fumbled up, and they went to the shower together. Spock loved water. Kirk had found it amusing, and he'd accused his first officer of sharing his bed to get access to the shower. Every other shower on board was sonic, but the captain had a choice. "You love my shower."

"You have mentioned that before." Spock pressed Kirk against the wall and turned on the water. "Are we finished?"

"I am," Kirk said regretfully. He idly fondled Spock's sweet ass. "You?"

Spock raised his eyebrow. "If you wish."

Kirk laughed. He never knew if Spock had one orgasm in him or ten, and Spock would never tell. A little mystery was good though. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I am also grateful for the moments we share."