Title: A Vacation
Fandom: Wild Wild West
Pairing: Jim/Artie, Jim/male
Feedback: justblackchaps at yahoo dot com
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Miss Kitty Sunbeam
Summary: Jim's vacation takes a turn for the unusual.
Disclaimer: All this belongs to CBS.


Artemus stepped out of the carriage and tossed the driver a coin. He couldn't contain a grin. He'd worked hard this last year, and he'd earned this vacation. Indulging in all his favorite vices was just the ticket to relaxing. He pulled open the door and took a heady breath of smoke, sex, and money. Last night it had been food. Tonight, he was after pleasures of the flesh.

"How can I help you, sir?"

Artemus wasn't quite sure what he wanted. He smiled. "Do you have anything really special? Once in a lifetime special--not to be missed special."

The madam cocked her head. "You do have plenty of money?"

"More than is good for a man. I intend to leave a large portion of it here." Artemus took the two steps that were necessary to put him in the front room. Women lounged here and there. Two of them were kissing. Some men liked that. Artemus didn't. "Special."

The madam took his arm. "Yes, but . . ."

Artemus turned to her and put his mouth near her ear. "What?"

"He's new--brand new--but incredibly gorgeous." She spoke very softly. "He's drugged, but ready."

Artemus thought about it. "Why drugged?"

"I don't know. He came in that way." She shrugged. "It'll wear off."

"So, he's not here of his own free will?" Artemus frowned. A rescue would ruin this evening of fun.

"He says he wants it, but I'm sure he's a virgin. It was apparent when we got him ready."

Artemus understood. "How much?" His curiosity was winning out. Typically, he avoided virgins. They just didn't know what to do.

"One hundred."

"For breaking in a virgin? You should be paying me." Artemus glared at her. "Fifty."

"Deal, but no bruises." She crossed her arms. "I plan to make a fortune off this one."

Artemus sniffed. "I would never, and good luck with that. Men never last." He dug out the money and paid up front. "Take me there. No interruptions. No time limit."

"Fine, but if you have a great time, I want twenty more."

Artemus doubted it. "We'll see." He followed her up the stairs and down a hallway. It was the last door on the right. She opened it, and he went inside, tossing his hat on a convenient chair. "Out."

She shut the door, and Artemus locked it. He glanced around the room. It wasn't filthy. The bed was occupied, and he went to look at his virgin. The virgin was turned away, sleeping. Artemus sat and pulled--the smooth, silky skin delightful under his hand.


"Yeah." The virgin's eyes didn't focus very well.

Artemus moved away quickly. His heart was pounding. He wiped his hand on his trousers. The shock tore through him, leaving him gasping for air. "Why are you here?"

Jim stretched and caressed himself. Artemus tried to breathe. Jim smiled slowly. "You know."

"No. We're on vacation. You're not supposed to be here!" Artemus felt a little faint.

"Yeah. Come here." Jim crooked a lazy finger at him.

Artemus went back to the bed and raised Jim's eyelid. "Who did this to you?"

"Oh, you know, one of the bad guys." Jim licked his lips. "Let's fuck."

Artemus' knees shook. His mouth was dry. "We--you don't do that!"

"I haven't before, but, hey, that's okay." Jim took hold of his cock and stroked. "I really need something."

Artemus could see that. "I'll get you a woman." He stood up.

Jim moved. It was almost in slow motion, but he made it off the bed and went to his knees in front of Artemus. "Na. You."

Artemus shook his head frantically. "No!"

Jim sighed. He slumped down to sitting. "Okay. Have them send in the next person. I'll wait."

"What?" Artemus' panic went up a notch. The next man may tear Jim apart! "Let's get you back to the train."

"No." Jim fluttered his hand. "I'm on vacation. I'm going to fuck lots of people. Don't really care who."

Artemus wiped his brow. "You don't fuck men."

Jim laughed softly and pushed up, falling gracefully on the bed and rolling to his stomach. "I don't think that's what they have in mind."

Artemus sat down again and touched Jim's brow. Jim wasn't feverish. "You've been drugged. It'll wear off. Let's get you somewhere safe. Please."

"Fuck me, and I'll go with you." Jim laughed. "Or I'll stay here." He shut his eyes. "You decide and let me know."

Artemus refused to consider it, but Jim's silky, smooth ass was right there. Jim spread his legs. Artemus clutched his hands together and prayed for strength. There was nothing to do but toss Jim in some clothes and drag him to a hotel where he could sleep this off.

The door lock turned over, and Artemus flew off the bed. The door slammed back. "Listen, Mister-"

"No, you listen!" The burly man made a fist. "The whore's mine next. Get this done!"

Jim laughed. "Yeah."

Artemus drew his derringer. "Get out!" His hand shook ever so slightly.

"Okay, okay." The fellow raised his hands. "Hey, you get his ass. I'll take his mouth."

"Out!" Artemus kicked the door shut in the brute's face and locked it again. He stuffed his gun away, looking for a solution. Sliding the big dresser in front of the door wasn't easy, but it'd hold for a year or two. Artemus sagged against it.

"Artie, my friend. I'm not waiting much longer." Jim sounded happy.

Artemus went to the bed and took Jim by the arm. "Come on. Get up. Let's get moving."

Jim languidly sprawled back on the bed after nonchalantly shoving Artemus' hand away. Artemus sat down abruptly. He rubbed his face. Jim sighed. "I can rip your pants off, ya know."

"Why, James, why?"

"I need it." Jim smiled like a saint, his dimples appearing. "Cock, ass, now."

Artemus flinched from the raw power in those words. His cock filled with blood. He hated himself, but he was going to do this. His clothes would stay on. They still needed to leave. He unbuttoned himself, and Jim laughed. Artemus wasn't sure what to do, and he wasn't a virgin.

"Nice. Big. I knew that." Jim wiggled, wrapped his lips around it, and moaned and groaned like a man that had suddenly found water after two days without it.

"I-" Artemus stared and rubbed his eyes. This had to be a dream--a great dream. He wanted to mutter dirty words as he usually did, but this was his partner.

Jim pulled away. "Cram it down my throat and come."

"No. No." Artemus groaned. Jim shoved his mouth. Artemus did the rest. His skin prickled, and his life changed forever when Jim swallowed. Jim licked and slurped. He pushed Artemus' trousers down and sucked him some more. Artemus gasped. "Stop. We're done."

"My ass." Jim laughed and laughed. "Get busy or I'm staying."

Artemus brushed his hand across the lovely, round ass. Jim spread his legs and cocked his ass right at him. Artemus probed gently with a finger. Jim had been prepared. He'd allowed it. He did want this. Artemus hesitated. "I'm not sure."

"I'll get the next fellow. He looked big." Jim took hold of Artemus' cock and pointed it at his ass. "Fuck it."

Artemus threw his brains to the wind and eased inside. Jim would have none of that. He pounded them back and forth, muttering words that even made Artemus blush. Artemus finally found a hard rhythm that made Jim howl with pleasure. They orgasmed together, squeezing and thrusting. Jim collapsed on the sheet. "Thanks."

"You said we'd leave."

"But, I'm having fun." Jim grinned. "I'm on vacation."

Artemus began to wonder about these bad guys. "I can't go again."

Jim rolled to his feet and shook all over. "I'll get dressed." He moved so slowly that Artemus finally intervened. When Jim was finished, he said, "Where's the door?"

Artemus pointed at the window. "Come on." His clothes were ready, and he grabbed his hat. "I can't believe I paid fifty dollars for you."

"I was worth every penny." Jim laughed. He shimmied down the drainpipe. Artemus followed a little more slowly. He put his arm around Jim. The hansom pulled to a stop. They got inside. Jim was completely relaxed. Artemus had never seen him like this. When the cab stopped, Jim smiled. "Get the driver."

"No, absolutely not."

"Well, I'll go back then." Jim reached for the door.

Artemus couldn't do it, but he did. The driver didn't argue. He dropped his trousers, after pulling the curtains. Jim dropped his and turned around. Artemus wasn't going to watch. The first smack of skin changed his mind. The driver wasn't big, but he worked at it. Jim seemed happy enough. He orgasmed again in his hand, licking it off so slowly that Artemus thought his eyes would burn out. The driver came with a shout. Artemus got everyone redressed and out on the street.

"No charge," the driver said.

Artemus blushed. Jim waved goodbye. "Nice horse."

The hotel manager rented them a room without a comment, but Artemus didn't like the looks that Jim was giving him. "James, behave yourself."

Jim grinned at him and swayed towards the saloon, not the stairs. Artemus grabbed the key and chased after him. Jim wouldn't be stopped, and he ordered a bottle of whiskey. Artemus poured their drinks. Jim put his back to the bar and said, "There's gotta be someone here in this hotel that's looking for a good time."

"Let's not find out." Artemus yawned. "Aren't you tired? I'm exhausted."

"Not really." Jim laughed. "Those two fellows playing poker are kinda handsome."

Artemus rubbed his face. After this, he was going to need a vacation. "Why don't we try to find a girl?"

"A girl can't give me what I need." Jim shook his head. "I'll go ask them."

"And if they shoot you?" Artemus took a good hold on Jim's arm. "No."

Jim shook off the hand. "I have a feeling about those two. They're sitting too close."

Artemus groaned. "There is no way you can tell from over here!"

"You were fun earlier. Now, not all that much. Why don't you go home?" Jim paused. "Wherever that is."

Artemus watched him swagger over to the table and sit down. This evening was going to hell in a hand basket. No, it was more like a runaway train. He could only stare in amazement as Jim whispered in the taller guy's ear. What Jim said was a mystery, but the smoldering assessment wasn't. Artemus got over there fast. "Hey gents. Room for one more?"

The tall man shook his head. "Three is plenty." He laughed and stood up. "Come on, Greg. We have business upstairs."

Greg gave Jim a coyote smile. "That's good news, Larry."

Artemus took a good hold on Jim. "Look. He's sick."

Jim plucked the key from Artemus' hand and broke away. "Ignore him. Let's go."

The two men laughed and crowded around Jim. They weren't going away. Artemus considered shooting them, but that would be murder. He trailed along behind as they went upstairs. He'd have to make sure Jim didn't hurt them. It was his job to lock the door because Jim already had them on the bed. Artemus dodged a boot and sighed. He put his hands on his hips. "Jim! Come on!"

Jim didn't answer. His mouth was busy sucking on Larry. Artemus tried to block out the dirty words they were whispering to his partner. It didn't work very well, and Jim's apparent delight in their attention made Artemus' brain go numb. Artemus felt his tired cock responding. Jim stretched out his arm and grabbed at him. "Artie."

Artemus was surprised that Jim remembered that he was here. "I'm done."

"I think you've got some more." Jim grinned. "It'll be fun."

Artemus stared at Jim's glazed, green eyes and shrugged. He undressed slowly. His eyes only bulged once and that was when Larry and Greg put Jim between them. Jim didn't mind at all, and Artemus got on the bed slowly. Jim's hard cock dangled down, and Artemus lay on his back to take it in his mouth. Jim's hand curled into Artemus' hair.

"He's so good," Greg said.

"This is our lucky night." Larry laughed and smacked Jim's ass.

Artemus wanted to smack the smugness right out of them, but his mouth was full and his eyes blistered from the sight of his partner taking all they could give and demanding more. With two shoves and two shouts, it was over. Jim shuddered, his groin pushed down harder, and Artemus tasted what had to be the last of the come from Jim's balls. Greg and Larry laughed, pulled away, dressed, and left so fast that if Jim hadn't been dripping, Artemus would have thought he was imagining things. Jim collapsed to his side. Artemus hugged him tightly, and Jim shut his eyes. His breathing slowed down, and his body was limp. Artemus shook his head in abject amazement. What the hell had happened? He'd find out in the morning, or when Jim returned to normal.


Jim opened his eyes sleepily. He was warm, and he could smell Artemus' cologne. He stretched, winced, and realized his pillow was Artemus. How had that happened? His bones felt like warm coffee on a cold day, and he realized that he liked it. "Hey."

"Morning, Jim. How ya feel?"

"Like a carriage drove up my ass and backed out." Jim sat up and stared down at his achy, thoroughly content body. "Was that all a dream?"

"Not for some of us." Artemus stared into Jim's eyes. "Your eyes are normal."

"Well, my ass will never be normal again." Jim poked fun at himself. It was easier than any of the alternatives.

Artemus laughed softly. Jim wished it weren't so funny. "James, what happened?"

"Ran into Dr. Loveless. Voltaire forced me to swallow some potion, and they turned me loose. I woke up at the whorehouse." Jim knew his face was red. "I assume you know the rest."

"Yes." Artemus had the decency to blush. "Are you going to shoot anyone? Like me?"

Jim collapsed back on the bed, rolling to his stomach. "Too tired. Hell of a vacation."

"Have fun?"

Jim pulled a pillow over his head. "We're never going to discuss this again." At least, he hoped not. "Ever."

Artemus snuggled against him, and Jim was too tired to protest. After last night, what did it matter? Artemus sighed. "Ever?"

"Two weeks, at least." Jim smiled. Two weeks should be long enough.


The End

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