Title: The Night of the Voracious Valentine
Fandom: Wild Wild West
Pairing: Jim/Artie
Feedback: justblackchaps at yahoo dot com
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jim gets a surprise on Valentine's Day.
Disclaimer: All this belongs to CBS.


Jim stepped up on the back step of the Wanderer and stopped in his tracks. Doorknob. What the hell? He took it off and stared down at it. It was a heart with the center cut out. A message. Emma Valentine. Jim made a noise halfway between a groan and a growl. That woman. It was Valentine's Day, but he'd hoped to have a nice, quiet meal with Artemus. Quiet. No gunfire. No falling. No organ music.

He ripped the heart in half and tossed the front door open harder than necessary. The hinges protested. The parlor was quiet. Where was Artemus? Emma. Damn. She probably had him. Insurance against Jim's good behavior. Artemus was a good man in a fight, but Emma Valentine didn't fight like a man. She was the meanest creature on this Earth--a bitter woman.

Wait. There was another heart near the fireplace. This one was pink and had a little arrow sticking out of it. Jim swept it up. He flipped it back and forth--no message. She'd been in the train for sure, and Artemus had paid the price. Jim's heart slammed up into his throat, and he drew his gun. He was running out of nasty names to call her. A flash of red showed through the connecting door. Jim pushed it open slowly, his gun ready. No one. He crouched down and looked at it. This one was purple. Two words--Kiss me. He shuddered. Why did the woman want him? He hated her, and she knew it.

Where was this trail of hearts leading? Would Jim find Artemus' dead body at the end of it? Jim took a deep breath to steady his nerves and looked down the hallway. There. Sticking partway out of the doorway. The door to Artemus and Jim's quarters. Was she in there? Jim looked up and down the hallway. Nobody about. He pulled this heart out from underneath the door. He didn't open it. This heart was dark red. Two words again--You'll burn. He tried not to panic. Bomb? Should he open the door? It could be a trap. His hand didn't shake as he reached for the doorknob. He'd shoot first and ask questions later. Emma Valentine was not getting her mechanical hands on him again. This time Jim meant business. He opened it soundlessly and step inside, flaring his gun back and firing.

The room was empty. Jim's bullet plowed into the wall. Nothing but red hearts scattered about with abandon and one big one in the middle of the bed that Jim and Artie shared. It was pink, not red, and had a message in the middle of it. If you want to see your partner, come to the Hotel Windsor, Room 312. No guns, knives, or explosives.

Jim crumpled it slowly, taking off his gun and placing it on the bed. The rest of his arsenal followed. Artemus' life was at stake. No games, not this time, and she was going to pay and pay dearly. Just to be safe, he emptied out his boots. He didn't need all these weapons to be dangerous, not at all.

The Hotel Windsor was on the other side of town, and Jim went out to the stable car to saddle his horse. Both horses swung their heads towards him and neighed. They were hungry. Jim reconsidered. He'd take a hack, after he fed the horses. No reason to rush into a trap. She wouldn't kill Artemus, not until Jim got there, and then all bets were off.

Jim didn't stop for a key at the front desk; that would be stupid. He'd pick the lock or just barge in and demand to see Artemus. Then he'd start hitting people, especially women. He'd never hit a woman before, but he was going to make an exception in her case. She deserved it.

The third floor of the hotel was strangely quiet. No one was in the halls and no one in the lavatories. Jim checked both of them just to be sure. He made his way down the hallway, stopped, and knelt when he found the first heart on the floor. Not Far Now it said. He didn't touch it. Quickly now, he raced down to room 312 and threw open the unlocked door, his heart in his throat--ready for anything.

He stopped. Blinking rapidly, he shut the door and checked the rest of the room before coming back to the bed. His heartbeat and his breath came fast. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

No answer. He ripped the heart off Artemus' mouth. It said Kiss Me. Artemus smiled his best and puckered up. Jim glanced at the heart on Artemus' cock. It repeated the sentiment. Jim took an extremely deep breath. "Emma Valentine's not here?"

"Emma Valentine? Christ! Get the cuffs off! She's the last person I want to face naked! Hurry!" Artemus struggled a little.

Jim sat down on the bed, put his face in his hands, and forced the quivers from his heart. Weakly, he began to laugh. "I was completely convinced she had you."

"Naked? Jim, that's sick!" Artemus laughed softly. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Jim glared at him. "Very funny, Artie." He stood up and took off his coat. "How long you here for?"

Artemus blushed. "It's a holiday for lovers."

Jim tapped the lower heart. "I noticed. The cuffs are a bit much, don't ya think?"

"I just wanted to have some fun, so sue me." Artemus frowned. "You've gone and spoiled the mood. Take off the cuffs, and we'll go out to eat."

Jim let the tension run out of his shoulders. He stood and went to lock the door. "I thought you wanted me to eat here," he purred.

"Well, I-"

Jim slapped the heart back on Artemus' mouth. "Hush." He smiled and found two hearts to put over his partner's nipples. "Nice." He lowered his head and nudged the heart off Artemus' cock before giving it a big lick. Artemus surged hard, and Jim smiled. "That's better."

Artemus made his cock jump. He agreed--that was obvious. Jim put the heart back on the hard cock and stood up to undress. He took his time, letting his eyes and imagination linger over Artemus' naked and heart strewn body. It had been a nice set up, but he'd have appreciated it more on Thanksgiving or some other holiday that didn't remind him of Emma Valentine. However, he was here, so he might as well have some fun. It was a holiday, not a good one, but what the hell. He put his boots next to Artemus' boots and crawled on the bed, licking and kissing his way up. Artemus wiggled and groaned when Jim thrust his tongue under the heart. Jim pushed Artemus' legs back and let his tongue wander where it would. Artemus had a great set of balls, and Jim sucked them, hoping to hear passionate sounds. He was rewarded.

"Jim! God! Please!"

Jim laughed and looked up at Artemus. "You lost your heart."

"And you don't have one!" Artemus thrust his hips up. Jim captured the big cock and sucked just on the knob, quickly. Artemus moaned and gasped, "James!"

Jim stopped and grinned. He picked up heart after heart from the bed and placed them all over Artemus' chest and face. "Hold still or I'll go get dinner--alone."

Artemus muttered, "This is supposed to be fun."

"I'm having a great time." Jim kissed the skin showing through the hearts. "I'm glad you thought of it, scared me to death, and cuffed yourself so now I can torture you."


Jim laughed and licked Artemus all over, finally settling in below the waist. Artemus did a remarkable job of holding still--all things considered.


"Dresser," Artemus choked out in a whisper. "Lord have mercy."

Jim smiled and found the salve. He slicked his hand and sneaked a finger up Artemus' ass. Artemus let out a long breath. The heart on his mouth fluttered, but stayed put. Jim laughed and worked another finger deep. He usually asked if Artemus were ready, but from the moaning, he figured it was time to put paid to this endeavor.

Artemus let out one of those breathy moans that made Jim's cock twitch. Jim didn't rush. He caressed and lifted, groaned and pressed, trying to make this holiday one to remember for the right reasons. Only when he could get no deeper did he begin to brush the hearts away. Artemus laughed up at him. Jim kissed him hard, thrusting his tongue and moving his hips gently.

"This was what I had in mind," Artemus said.

"Your invitation left much to be desired." Jim moved faster and deeper. Hearts scattered all over the bed. He scooped one up, clapped it down on Artemus' chest, and held it there with his own hand. "But I won't argue with the results."

Artemus' hand reached down, but Jim beat him there. "Stroke me."

Jim pumped his hips and stroked Artemus' cock, faster and faster until Artemus was struggling wildly in the cuffs. The sight was sweeter than chocolate. Jim arched his back and spent. He gasped, groaned, and squeezed Artemus, perhaps a little too hard.

"Hey!" Artemus shouted. His hips thrust up hard and the valentine on his stomach became streaked with his seed. Jim picked up valentine after valentine and stuck them to Artemus' sweaty body. "Jim, stop!"

Jim laughed. "I'm just getting started. I know there's champagne and chocolate somewhere."

Artemus heaved out a breath and groaned, "Yeah."

"I say we enjoy this holiday to the fullest." Jim reattached the heart that said kiss me to Artemus' cock.

"You're a voracious valentine." Artemus grinned. "You will take the cuffs off, right?"

"I highly doubt it." Jim eased away and went to the closet, finding a bucket of champagne and a tray of chocolate covered strawberries - perfect. He took it all back to the bed and opened the champagne. The bubbles overran the bottle and streamed down.

"James!" Artemus thrashed.

"Cheers!" Jim lowered his head and began sipping. With one hand, he pressed a strawberry into Artemus' mouth. "Don't eat it - just hold it."

Artemus mumbled something very rude, and Jim moved up to begin licking the chocolate that was melting onto Artemus' lips. What a marvelous Valentine's Day this was going to be.


The End

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